hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
