I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
no, he came in my armpit
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
