# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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