Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
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