I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
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