we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize