WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize