none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
