i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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