ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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