I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
