what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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