Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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