well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Randomize
