Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
