Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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