Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
ttyl tear gas
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
