yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
