too bad you live with your parents still
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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