i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
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