I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Randomize
