So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
