is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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