Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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