I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
