pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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