Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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