508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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