This dress was meant to end up on your floor
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
