I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Man, jail baloney is awful.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Randomize
