I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
so much tequila, so little girl.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
