You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
