shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
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