That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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