Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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