I just made out with a guy for $7.
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
this is an emotional support booty call
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
