I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize