bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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