So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
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