he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Randomize
