Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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