Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
