ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
