Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
