He kissed a someone with a penis
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
