She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize