btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize