What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I love you. Go after that dick
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
