will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
