I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
