Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Randomize
