you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
