Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
