i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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