we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
You are the jesus of drinking
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
