it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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