nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
