i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
