Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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