you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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