i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
