You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
