I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
