who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Randomize
