it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
