I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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