my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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