Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
