I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize