The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
