Don't you send me to vm
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Randomize
