so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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